Also Sprach Blacksnow

突然，有個對我來說相當奇怪的念頭──想寫小說。

我不是想成為作家，只是想將幾年來很多奇怪的想法或者是思想表達出來。其實，當我看《聽風的歌》時，已經覺得村上這本書有一種特別的味道，他不是用一個刺激或是富劇力的故事去打動讀者，而是一些令人共鳴、神往的哲思。我感到他的小說裡帶有一點描繪存在意識、探索自我的基調。

記得很久之前，阿鏡曾說一個朋友因為太喜歡《大街的神秘與憂愁》這幅基里柯的名畫，心血來潮，便寫下了篇以此為題的小說；看來，這種莫名的感興和衝動，突然吸引著我。

註：咁即係幾時寫？比十年時間我，事關我完全唔識寫，呢段時間，要多看幾本曠世名著先 =p。

題目是王丹一本書的書名，在書店中匆匆看過了董橋的序言及幾頁內文。裡面談到了Vincent這首歌….

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer’s day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.

Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they’ll listen now.

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of China blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they’ll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget.
Like the strangers that you’ve met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they’re not listening still.
Perhaps they never will.

在舊日記裡，說過買了錢鐘書原著，陳道明主演的《圍城》電視劇集，差不多是個半月前的事，前幾天才把他看完。整體來說，非常精彩。

說它精彩，當然不是說是官能刺激，或是劇情曲折離奇的方面，而是在情節中，在對話中，看都主角們的深思、智慧和感慨、無奈。有甚麼無奈？我想這幾句說話已經能夠講很清楚：

圍在城裡的人想逃出來，

城外的人想衝進去，

對婚姻也罷，

職業也罷，

人生的願望大都如此。

註：看完電視劇集，有可能會睇埋原著；時間，應該會在將來。

　　又，這裡有篇文章很不錯，可以一看：
　　
圍城中的那隻鐘